Episode 7 - Swordfish

Recap
The team were outside of Valentines shop of cursed curiosities before they went on to investigate the piano key. However, before they moved on, Dariun became increasingly upset from various Eladrin racist comments and stormed off, separating from the group. Norman and Zippy went to a music shop meeting Dawson and Lemon McCaw where Dawson put the key into a piano. When the note was played, the piano exploded and Dawson was left injured and spaced out. Norman read Dawson's thoughts where he learnt Dawson had an 'out of body experience'.

Dariun, upset, went to a tavern where he got drunk and his skin changed colours as his emotions flared. As Dariun drunkenly walked the streets of Aurum to find his friends, he met Jezzy who helped him find Zippy and Norman. After this, the funeral began and not long after, the God of Bliss appears from the sky and destroyed the casket of now passed King.

Episode Summary
The team are on the outskirts of the funeral crowd and they see, as the tether of the god of bliss came in, some people cheering and others yelling angrily. When the queen expresses her anger to the tether, the tether snaps her fingers and lets out a warm wave and everyone feels soothed and happy. The god of bliss, Turi, speaks up and explains that the late king Pontas Alvero wanted to have his funeral as a party and that he wanted Turi to oversee the election of the next king. He gets a piece of paper from Christopher, a page boy, and Turi explains they have three candidates that are descendants from the three founding Greeders.

The first candidate from the sorcerer line descended from Fen Rise, is Ferryn Rise. She stands up and expresses the honour she feels for being chosen. The next candidate is Colm Alvero, grandson of the late Pontas Alvero and descendent of the fighter line. When Turi asks him to come up, Christopher runs up and tells him that Colm had been kidnapped in a raid. The final candidate from the cleric line, descended of the goliath Smo Ranborg, is Bradley Ranborg, the same wetsuit wearing boy that came to Gilbert's mansion that morning. Turi asks Bradley if he wants to say anything and he tells everyone that he doesn't want the title and he only wants Paige.

After making the announcements, Turi snaps their fingers again and there is another wave of happiness and calm and even Dariun's skin goes back from red to green. Turi peace's out and zips off into the sky. The crowd turns from sombre to happy as the area is a big party. The team decide they'd like to join the party and Zippy hops off the roof to get a signature from the queen followed by Dariun and Norman. Gilbert decides to take a moment away and will meet the team at the stables later.

Norman and Zippy slip pass the golden guards and Dariun gets distracted in the crowd. Zippy approaches the queen and tells her he would like to introduce her to the person responsible for this which puts Norman in a sweat. Zippy then lies and tells her that he helped set up the stands and asks the queen to sign his bedroll. Norman speaks up and asks about Colm's kidnapping which the Queen does not seem to know about and she starts to cry. As she does, Turi shows back up and taps her forehead as she goes back to happiness.

When he comes back, Zippy and Norman notices they can't help but smile, even if they don't want to. Zippy and Norman both ask Turi for an autograph. When Zippy asks about Turi's tier level within the gods and they notice that their eyes are almost completely black but when Turi tries to skirt around the question, their eyes go back to normal and a woman's voice, Carol, tells them Turi is pretty low tier. The eyes go back to black as Turi takes back control over the female librarian's body. Norman asks if Turi knows Salem and tells them he does and that he's probably the most famous god but doesn't bring any joy or happiness. As Dariun drunkenly makes his way over to them eating a shish kebab, Zippy brings up the kidnapped Colm and tries to convince him to make a deal with the team to find Colm. As he does, they feel all the darkness from all the corners of the world encapsulates them for a moment before Turi realizes and releases it. He asks them what deal they would like to make which Zippy explains that they can find Colm and before explaining the whole deal in mind, asks Turi to sober Dariun up, which he does.

Back to normal, Dariun tells Turi that Norman wants to be the king and there is a chance he could stir the pot a little but Turi decides to stick to the traditional three family choices. Zippy whispers to Turi and tells him about them being on the hunt for a  grand treasure and asks for Turi's help in doing so. Turi understands that if he helps them find the next grand treasure, they will bring back Colm and turn the city into a place that worships Salem, into one that worships Turi.

Zippy shows Turi the key to prove that they are serious and Turi's excitement shines through as he snatches the piano key and makes it disappear into thin air. Turi agrees to help the team and give them their key back if they can get Aurum to worship him and bring Colm back. Zippy is happy with this but he asks Turi to give Dariun a weapon to use while they find Colm. Dariun also asks for the key back and after some back and forth, Trui returns the key. Dariun puts it on the ground and pushes it as it snaps, and turns into butterflies. Dariun is very unhappy with the trickery but Turi tells them they need to go somewhere more private.

The team teleport into water in a cove with tall rock walls surrounding it. The see Turi is in a beach chair, sipping a margarita and tells the boys to take a seat. Norman ensures he is wearing the ring of communication and thanks Turi, ensuring his words will travel through the ring of communication. Turi once again goes over the terms of the agreement. Turi will help them look for a grand treasure if the team get Colm back and get everyone to worship Turi in place of Salem. Dariun asks for gold to pay for his switch sword rather than giving him a weapon and that they will get their key back. Zippy gives Turi a guarantee that he can get everyone to worship Turi.

Turi asks Carol what she thinks of the situation and she tells them that she isn't convinced. If the other gods find out that they are stealing their followers, it won't go well in the Astral plane. Zippy explains that they have nothing to lose from the deal and they can make the shift from Salem to Turi without flagging it with the other gods. With them saving Colm, they have a foot in the door with the Alvero's making it easier to cause the switch of gods.

Carol becomes more convinced to the deal and tells them she will postpone the election giving them a week to find Colm. After that they will ensure Colm gets into power and Turi will show the lair where the first grand treasure was found. They all agree to the deal and Turi asks them to meet him at the bar called the Speak Easy Speak Speak at dinner time. Turi gives the key back to the team and gives Zippy a stick that will cause a person to be put in a state of bliss when hit. Zippy gives the stick to Norman and they awkwardly fist bump/shake hands.

To ensure they are what they claim to be, Turi wants the check their skills so he summons 2 water elementals in the cove, one with a scythe and another with a hammer. The scythe elemental attacks Zippy and pulls him into the water. Norman uses dissonant whispers on the scythe elemental causing it to dash away in the water. Dariun casts Zephyr strike and draws his bow and as he does Fey magic envelopes the bow. He hits the elemental in the chest, it teleports 60 feet in the air and falls to the water.

The hammer elemental attacks Norman who reacts with hellish rebuke killing the hammer elemental. Zippy looks around and sees a swordfish swimming around in the cove and decides to use wild shape to become a swordfish. The scythe elemental starts to make waves and a mini tsunami comes towards them, Zippy rides the waves and is pushed into some rocks taking some damage but Dariun and Norman get hit with the full force of the waves knocking them prone. Norman gets up and gives Dariun a bardic inspiration. Dariun gets up and draws his bow at the remaining elemental using planar warrior and hits it.

Swordfish Zippy swims up to the elemental and tries to hit it twice and misses both times. The scythe elemental tries to grab swordfish Zippy but misses. Norman runs towards the elemental and casts Tasha's hideous laughter and yells out a dad joke causing the elemental to uncontrollably laugh. Dariun runs towards the elemental and draws his short sword, he flips the blade and stabs it into the sand, causing all the water to be pushed away, drying the elemental and killing it.

Norman walks up to harvest the bill from the swordfish but Zippy hears the swordfish on the sands after being pushed from Dariun's attack, he uncasts the wild shape kills the swordfish with his carrot peeler. Turi comes back suddenly and gives them a margarita and heals them fully. He commends them on their work and says they are happy to make their deal. Dariun sternly tells Turi that for throwing a curveball like that at them was inappropriate so Turi should repay them by calling in a favour with the god of greed and get Dariun the money he requires. Turi agrees to Dariun's demand and Zippy asks for a hug which Turi, also known as the god of the squeeze, grants him.

They all put their hands in and confirm their pact. Turi teleports them back to the party that is still raging. Zippy and Norman both look around to see if they can find Bradley after Norman suggests they should talk to him but cannot spot him. The team decide to table the thought and Norman looks around to see Captain Ran, the centaur from the raid. Norman recalls that he had been fired from his position as captain of the guard due to his poor performance at the raid. He see he looks dishevelled as he chows down on come shish kebabs. Norman leaves the group to talk to Ran while also uses disguise self to become Gilbert.

Dariun and Zippy both are confused and concerned about Normans suspicious activity and follow him. Norman, disguised as Gilbert, talks to Ran and asks if he remembers the faces of the people who got away and Ran tell him he does. Norman casts words of terror which causes Ran becomes paranoid and he gallops away. Norman comes back to the team and drops his disguise. The team head back to find Gilbert with Dariun carrying Zippy as he is very tired. They make it back to the mansion and discuss what had happened with Turi. Gilbert is shocked and concerned about the deal they had made telling them it's dangerous to deal with a god. As they decide to head to bed, they see Blackjack and Yogurt hanging out in a hot tub. They all fall asleep and Zippy wakes up in a dream.

Zippy is surrounded by white until green starts to spread and he sees he is in a large carrot patch. There is a crack and a knight in shinning armour riding a white steed comes down the carrot patch. They ride towards the woods and stop next the Zippy, tearing up carrots as they do, tells them get out of there as there are enemies coming. Zippy stays and see cupcakes with legs, jumping and hopping as they stampede through the carrot patch.

Quotations

 * Turi "I'm really routing for you by the way, I think kid kings are the funniest thing."
 * Zippy "I'd like to introduce you to the man responsible for this evening!"
 * Zippy "Just look at us, look how capable we are!"
 * Turi "Looking for a grand treasures, yawn, everybody's doing it, so 300 HD"
 * Dariun "I care not for the gods"
 * Norman "What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing! It just waved!"
 * Turi "You know I am the god of bliss and I'm all about make people happy but you know my other name? The god of the squeeze! Come here!"

Main Cast

 * Dariun Branch
 * Norman D
 * Zippy Westborrough

Returning Characters

 * God of Bliss/Turi/Carol
 * Bradley Ranborg
 * Queen Merigold Alvero
 * Captain Ran
 * Blackjack
 * Yogurt

New Characters

 * Christopher
 * Fen Rise (mentioned)
 * Farren Rise
 * Smo Ranborg (mentioned)
 * Swordfish

Locations

 * Aurum
 * Turi's cove
 * Gilbert's mansion